How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

punks in love

None, they just screw in their own vomit.

How many hippies does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None, they just screw in dirty sleeping bags.

A bike punk is walking down the sidewalk one day…

A bike punk is walking down the sidewalk one day, as his friend, another gearhead, rolls up riding a shiny, new, fixed-gear bicycle. The bike is built with the works: a beautiful, celeste Bianchi frame, a complete Campagnolo Record groupset, carbon fork and rims, and topped off with a  faux-leather saddle.

hot shit bike

The first punk was stunned by his friend’s incredibly hip ride and asked, “WOW! Where did you get such a nice bike?”

The second punk replied, “Well, yesterday I was walking home, minding my own business, when a gorgeous woman wearing the most beautiful clothes, rode up to me on this bike. She took one look at me, threw the bike to the ground, stripped off all of her clothes, and said, ‘Take whatever you want!’”

The second punk nods approvingly, “Good call. The clothes probably wouldn’t have fit.”