What do you call a punk without a girlfriend?

Homeless.


How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

punks in love

None, they just screw in their own vomit.

How do you get a crusty out of the bathtub?

Turn on the water.

How do you get a punk out of a tree?

Throw her a beer.

How many straight-edge kids does it take to drink a case of beer?

One, if nobody’s looking.

what's that in the upper right? huh, a bottle? what's in that bottle?

Speaking of selling out… I Was a Teenage Anarchist

Yesterday’s joke was about punks selling out, so this video seemed appropriate.

This song is a joke in its own way. Teenage Anarchist by Against Me!

How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Twenty. One to screw it in, and nineteen to call her a sellout.

What’s the difference between government bonds and punks?

Government bonds eventually mature.

How many punks does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

3, one to screw it in and two to argue about who did it first.

Where do you hide your money from a crust punk?

Under the soap.