What’s the difference between a panhandler and an occupier?

A panhandler knows what he wants.

Just kidding, Occupy and Rolling Jubilee both rule.

What is a peacenik’s favorite color?

Anything non-violet.

An older revolutionary walks across the Brooklyn Bridge one day…

An older revolutionary walks across the Brooklyn Bridge one day…

He sees a man of similar age, standing on the edge, looking like he’s about to jump. He rushes over and says, “STOP! Don’t do it!”

The jumper asks, “Why shouldn’t I?”

“Well, there’s so much to live for!”

“I’m just depressed; I’ve been a Communist all my life and the revolution
seems as far away as ever.”

“You’re a Communist?”

“Yeah, why do you ask?”

“I am too! Did you originally join the Communist Party USA?”


“Me too! Did you join the pro-Trotsky Communist League of America in 1928, which later merged with the American Workers Party to form the Workers Party of America in 1934?”

“hmmm, I did…”

“Crazy, so did I! After the WPA was expelled from the Socialist Party of America in 1936, did you then go on to join the Socialist Workers Party USA and the fourth international?”

“I did actually…”

“Me too! In the 1940 dispute did you side with Cannon or Shachtman?”


“Wow, me too! In 1962 did you join Robertson’s opposition caucus, the
Revolutionary Tendency?”

“Yes, I did…”

” Holly shit! And of course like me you were expelled and went on to join the International Communist League (Spartacist)”

“…well, that goes without saying!”

“In 1985, did you join the International Bolshevik Tendency who claimed that the Sparts have degenerated into an ‘obedience cult’”

“No way!”

“Nah, me neither. In 1998 did you join the Internationalist Group after the Permanent Revolution Faction were expelled from the ICL?”

“Yeah! I can’t believe this!”

After connecting with another old-guard revolutionary, the jumper begins to rethink his decision to end his life. “Maybe I won’t….”

Just as soon as the jumper begins abandon his suicidal thoughts, the first Communist suddenly shoves him off of the bridge. “Die, counter-revolutionary scum!” he screams, as the second Communist plummets to his death.